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It’d been about a month and a half since I started school, and I had still kept who my family really was a secret. I was thoroughly impressed with myself. My friends had asked me on numerous occasions when they would get to meet my parents and brother. I had told them that Andrew went back to school and that my parents had super crazy work schedules. As far as I could tell, they were buying it.
I didn’t know how much longer I could keep this up. I felt like I could trust them enough to tell them the truth, but I just wanted to be sure. The longer I held it out, the angrier they would be when they found out that I’d been lying to them for so long. Hopefully, being the good friends that they are, they’d understand.
I snatched the little vanilla cupcake off of my desk and followed my classmates out the door. The lunch bell was ringing in our ears, and I was ecstatic to give RayJay the cupcake that I had prepared for his birthday. It was a cute little vanilla one with white frosting and sprinkles. November and I had nothing better to do the day before, so we broke out the cake mix and made cupcakes. She brought one to school to smash in Malachi’s face the moment he walked in the doors. She almost died-both from laughing and Malachi coming after her.
The scent of the cupcake rose up and filled my nostrils as I took a deep breath. I was almost jealous that I had to give this sexy piece of food away. But it was for RayJay, and he deserved it. We’d been friends for a month, and we were already as close as two people could possibly be. Unfortunately, being so close had brought my feelings towards him to a little more than friendship. Thankfully, I was able to contain my feelings and pretend like they didn’t exist.
I found my friends at our usual table and headed over and joined them. Calloway was in the middle of chugging a can of Rockstar, and Cyra was chanting “Come on you bitch, you can do better than that!” I swear, the things I walk in on because of these people.
I set the intoxicating cupcake next to me, claiming a seat for RayJay, and slid my backpack underneath the table. Cyra paused for a brief moment to acknowledge my arrival and continued screaming at Calloway. Malachi and November just sat there, waving at me and then continuing on with their conversation about some new music video.
I felt a pair of hands reach across my face from behind and remove my glasses. RayJay plopped down in the seat next to me, my black stereotypical-nerd-looking glasses adorning his face. He hadn’t noticed his cupcake yet.
“Can I help you?” I snapped, folding my arms across my chest and giving him a piercing glare. He flipped his bangs and returned my piercing stare with one of equal strength, “Seriously dude. I need those motherfuckers. How can you even see in those? I’m as blind as a bat without echolocation.”
He smiled shrugged his shoulders, “It’s not that bad. I kind of like ‘em. Can I borrow these for a while?” I lurched forward to steal them off his face, but he grabbed my wrists with lighting reflexes.
“Hell no,” I growled, “Even if I didn’t need them to see, I still wouldn’t let you wear them. I look terrible without them.”
“I think you look nice without them,” RayJay complimented. I felt my cheeks turn a slight pink. For a second, he loosened the grip on one of my wrists, so I snatched my glasses off of his face and slipped them back on.
He still had a grip on one wrist-my left wrist. The one adorned with four scars that I so deeply wish I didn’t have. He was running his thumb across them, slowly, gently. I hadn’t told anyone about what I had done, but most of them had figured it out on their own. RayJay stared deep into my eyes. It was as if he was trying to read my scars like a palm reader reads someone’s hand, thinking they held my past within them. After a minute of noticing what he was doing, he let go. I shook it off and adjusted my glasses.
“Take that you fucker,” I smirked. Realizing that he still hadn’t taken notice of his birthday present, I took it from the table and shoved it in his face, “and happy birthday bro. This has been sitting here the whole time, and you didn’t say a damn thing.” His face lit up as he took the little cake in his hand, “but first,” I interrupted. I grabbed his wrist and aimed the cupcake at my mouth, running my tongue across the entire surface and licking off a good bit of frosting.
“You’re disgusting,” he cringed. I laughed and swallowed the delicious white frosting that November and I had slaved over. He also licked some of the frosting off, but rather than swallowing it, he leaned forward and licked it on my cheek, very close to my mouth. I shoved him off and giggled. Part of me was disgusted. Something fell in the pit of my stomach. I almost wished that he had missed going right next to my mouth…
“Oh, I’M the disgusting one?” I scowled, “you’re the one that went for my face.” Cyra, November, Malachi, and Calloway stopped what they were doing and turned in our direction. I turned to face them, frosting adorning the right side of my face. Cyra’s cheeks inflated like she was chipmunk and her eyes grew in size.
“Toril, can I see you in the bathroom?” she questioned. I hesitated, but I got up and followed her into the bathroom just around the corner. I heard November’s heels clinking behind me as she got up and followed suit.
Once we were in the bathroom, they pulled me by the shirt and pinned me against the wall next to a mirror. I was confused and angry.
“You know RayJay’s totally into you, right?” November wondered. I nodded slightly.
“Well…” Cyra asked me. I glared at her, and her and November released their grip on me and let me stand freely.
“Well what?” I questioned. They looked at each other before looking back at me and asking me a question simultaneously.
“Do you like him too?”
I felt my stomach drop and my face turn red. They laughed and giggled like two little fangirls meeting Justin Bieber at a concert. Even if I told them no, they would know I was lying.
“Kind of.”
“So why not go for it?” Cyra wondered. I shrugged my shoulders and tapped my foot on the ground. I was growing impatient, but they weren’t going to let me leave until I answered all of their questions.
“Look, I’m just not ready for a relationship. Plus, there’s a lot about me that I’m not willing to share with people yet. Being a relationship involves emotionally exposing yourself to that person, and I’m just not ready for that yet,” I confessed, “Yes, I’ve told him a lot, and we’re very close, but I’m simply not ready to be left feeling empty.” They nodded slowly, still staring me in the eyes as if they were trying to read me and find out exactly what these things were that I wasn’t ready to share with people.
“Understandable,” November commented. She walked over and propped herself up on a sink, “RayJay told the guys that he’s really into you, and of course, they told us. It’s pretty obvious, but we were just checking.”
“But if he’s really worth it, you’ll be willing to look past your feelings and go for it. He might be going after another girl tomorrow,” Cyra added on.
I knew she was right. RayJay wasn’t going to wait around for me forever. I really wanted to be with him, but our friendship meant the world to me, and if that didn’t work out, I don’t know what I’d do. He’s one of the first real friends I’ve had in a long time, and I simply couldn’t imagine life without him.
“You two are practically already dating. You’re just missing the kissing, holding hands, and the official boyfriend/girlfriend title,” November pointed out. I huffed and rolled my eyes before pushing them both in the direction of the bathroom door.
“Not a word of this leaves this bathroom,” I growled. They nodded, and we headed back to the cafeteria. The guys had huddled together, using a little wad of paper like it was a soccer ball and “kicking” it around with their fingers. We sat around them, not wanting to interrupt their game. Things sounded like they were getting intense.
“What was that about?” RayJay questioned, trying to stay focused on this game (which must’ve been a HUGE deal).
“Cyra needed a tampon,” I informed. He gave me a disgusted look, and I saw Cyra flip me off out of the corner of my eye.
I didn’t know how much longer I could keep this up. I felt like I could trust them enough to tell them the truth, but I just wanted to be sure. The longer I held it out, the angrier they would be when they found out that I’d been lying to them for so long. Hopefully, being the good friends that they are, they’d understand.
I snatched the little vanilla cupcake off of my desk and followed my classmates out the door. The lunch bell was ringing in our ears, and I was ecstatic to give RayJay the cupcake that I had prepared for his birthday. It was a cute little vanilla one with white frosting and sprinkles. November and I had nothing better to do the day before, so we broke out the cake mix and made cupcakes. She brought one to school to smash in Malachi’s face the moment he walked in the doors. She almost died-both from laughing and Malachi coming after her.
The scent of the cupcake rose up and filled my nostrils as I took a deep breath. I was almost jealous that I had to give this sexy piece of food away. But it was for RayJay, and he deserved it. We’d been friends for a month, and we were already as close as two people could possibly be. Unfortunately, being so close had brought my feelings towards him to a little more than friendship. Thankfully, I was able to contain my feelings and pretend like they didn’t exist.
I found my friends at our usual table and headed over and joined them. Calloway was in the middle of chugging a can of Rockstar, and Cyra was chanting “Come on you bitch, you can do better than that!” I swear, the things I walk in on because of these people.
I set the intoxicating cupcake next to me, claiming a seat for RayJay, and slid my backpack underneath the table. Cyra paused for a brief moment to acknowledge my arrival and continued screaming at Calloway. Malachi and November just sat there, waving at me and then continuing on with their conversation about some new music video.
I felt a pair of hands reach across my face from behind and remove my glasses. RayJay plopped down in the seat next to me, my black stereotypical-nerd-looking glasses adorning his face. He hadn’t noticed his cupcake yet.
“Can I help you?” I snapped, folding my arms across my chest and giving him a piercing glare. He flipped his bangs and returned my piercing stare with one of equal strength, “Seriously dude. I need those motherfuckers. How can you even see in those? I’m as blind as a bat without echolocation.”
He smiled shrugged his shoulders, “It’s not that bad. I kind of like ‘em. Can I borrow these for a while?” I lurched forward to steal them off his face, but he grabbed my wrists with lighting reflexes.
“Hell no,” I growled, “Even if I didn’t need them to see, I still wouldn’t let you wear them. I look terrible without them.”
“I think you look nice without them,” RayJay complimented. I felt my cheeks turn a slight pink. For a second, he loosened the grip on one of my wrists, so I snatched my glasses off of his face and slipped them back on.
He still had a grip on one wrist-my left wrist. The one adorned with four scars that I so deeply wish I didn’t have. He was running his thumb across them, slowly, gently. I hadn’t told anyone about what I had done, but most of them had figured it out on their own. RayJay stared deep into my eyes. It was as if he was trying to read my scars like a palm reader reads someone’s hand, thinking they held my past within them. After a minute of noticing what he was doing, he let go. I shook it off and adjusted my glasses.
“Take that you fucker,” I smirked. Realizing that he still hadn’t taken notice of his birthday present, I took it from the table and shoved it in his face, “and happy birthday bro. This has been sitting here the whole time, and you didn’t say a damn thing.” His face lit up as he took the little cake in his hand, “but first,” I interrupted. I grabbed his wrist and aimed the cupcake at my mouth, running my tongue across the entire surface and licking off a good bit of frosting.
“You’re disgusting,” he cringed. I laughed and swallowed the delicious white frosting that November and I had slaved over. He also licked some of the frosting off, but rather than swallowing it, he leaned forward and licked it on my cheek, very close to my mouth. I shoved him off and giggled. Part of me was disgusted. Something fell in the pit of my stomach. I almost wished that he had missed going right next to my mouth…
“Oh, I’M the disgusting one?” I scowled, “you’re the one that went for my face.” Cyra, November, Malachi, and Calloway stopped what they were doing and turned in our direction. I turned to face them, frosting adorning the right side of my face. Cyra’s cheeks inflated like she was chipmunk and her eyes grew in size.
“Toril, can I see you in the bathroom?” she questioned. I hesitated, but I got up and followed her into the bathroom just around the corner. I heard November’s heels clinking behind me as she got up and followed suit.
Once we were in the bathroom, they pulled me by the shirt and pinned me against the wall next to a mirror. I was confused and angry.
“You know RayJay’s totally into you, right?” November wondered. I nodded slightly.
“Well…” Cyra asked me. I glared at her, and her and November released their grip on me and let me stand freely.
“Well what?” I questioned. They looked at each other before looking back at me and asking me a question simultaneously.
“Do you like him too?”
I felt my stomach drop and my face turn red. They laughed and giggled like two little fangirls meeting Justin Bieber at a concert. Even if I told them no, they would know I was lying.
“Kind of.”
“So why not go for it?” Cyra wondered. I shrugged my shoulders and tapped my foot on the ground. I was growing impatient, but they weren’t going to let me leave until I answered all of their questions.
“Look, I’m just not ready for a relationship. Plus, there’s a lot about me that I’m not willing to share with people yet. Being a relationship involves emotionally exposing yourself to that person, and I’m just not ready for that yet,” I confessed, “Yes, I’ve told him a lot, and we’re very close, but I’m simply not ready to be left feeling empty.” They nodded slowly, still staring me in the eyes as if they were trying to read me and find out exactly what these things were that I wasn’t ready to share with people.
“Understandable,” November commented. She walked over and propped herself up on a sink, “RayJay told the guys that he’s really into you, and of course, they told us. It’s pretty obvious, but we were just checking.”
“But if he’s really worth it, you’ll be willing to look past your feelings and go for it. He might be going after another girl tomorrow,” Cyra added on.
I knew she was right. RayJay wasn’t going to wait around for me forever. I really wanted to be with him, but our friendship meant the world to me, and if that didn’t work out, I don’t know what I’d do. He’s one of the first real friends I’ve had in a long time, and I simply couldn’t imagine life without him.
“You two are practically already dating. You’re just missing the kissing, holding hands, and the official boyfriend/girlfriend title,” November pointed out. I huffed and rolled my eyes before pushing them both in the direction of the bathroom door.
“Not a word of this leaves this bathroom,” I growled. They nodded, and we headed back to the cafeteria. The guys had huddled together, using a little wad of paper like it was a soccer ball and “kicking” it around with their fingers. We sat around them, not wanting to interrupt their game. Things sounded like they were getting intense.
“What was that about?” RayJay questioned, trying to stay focused on this game (which must’ve been a HUGE deal).
“Cyra needed a tampon,” I informed. He gave me a disgusted look, and I saw Cyra flip me off out of the corner of my eye.
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XD lol this was cute and i died on that last sentence!